Txts to an Asshole 2

So yeah, I fuck with random people who txt me. So sue me. P.S. Please don't sue me. I can't even afford jelly that includes real strawberry bits. P.P.S. It's some coagulated bullshit they call "spread." P.P.P.S. Here's the latest installment of my reoccurring, "Txts to an Asshole." P.P.P.P.S If you'd like to read the other "Txts to an Asshole," take a long, hard

look into the mirror, you sick fuck. Then click long and hard and remember, only highbrow humor here, folks ;). 


Them on 11/1/2011 7:39pm: Hey
Me @ 7:47: what's shaking? 
Them @ 7:48: Nothing just chilling being bored looked for something to do
Me @ 7:52: Well you can start with my laundry
Them @ 7:54: Sike....What do I get in return
Me @ 8:03: You have 3 options of what you get in return: 
Them @ 8:04: What's that ?
Me @ 8:04: hepatitis a, b, or c
                  Or all of them. I kinda lost track of which ones I have
Them @ 8:16: I have xyz already help me fill the alphabet
Me @ 8:16: Well here's your chance. Do my fucking laundry!
Them @ 8:24: Alright be right there.
Me @ 8:26: Cool. It's in my hamper above my other hamper. Next to the other hamper. Hope you're not busy for the next couple of days. 
Them @ 8:28: I just throw them in a washer at the mat and come back in 30
Me @ 8:33: As long as you dry them by hand


The next day...


Me on 11/2 @ 4:51pm: Ahhh, hello? Came home last night and guess what wasn't done. My laundry! It wasn't even there. Where the hell did you put it?
Them @ 4:53: I didn't do anything with yo Iaundry I don't even know where you live
Me @ 4:53: So you lied to me!?!?!
Them @ 4:53: How did I lie ?
Me @ 5:03: You said you were gonna do my laundry and then my laundry is gone. I NEED SOCKS AND NOW I NEED TO GO BUY SOCKS THAT I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD!!!

(The missing socks in question look like this)

Them @ 5:04: Well I'm sorry I never got my hepatitis a, b, or c
Me @ 5:06: Well you have yourself to thank on that one. What the hell, man. Is this your thing? You just go around and lie to people? Lead em on and tell em yo gonna do their laundry? 
Them @ 5:07: No
Me @ 5:08:  I don't know if I can trust that answer. You clearly have a track record for lying.
Them @ 5:10: Okay
Me @ *****1:51am*****: Seriously, man! I can't sleep right now bcuz all I can think about is how I have no, absolutely no socks to wear tomorrow. And it's all thanks to YOU!!!
Them @ 8:36am: Wtf is all this bull shit about your laundry. I don't even do my own laundry
Me @ 1:16pm: So lemme get this straight: you said you'd do my laundry. My laundry disappears. And now ur trying to tell me you don't even do your own laundry? Bullocks! 
Me @ 1:19: Meanwhile I'm in sandals. There's snow on the ground, and I'm in sandals. It's November, and I'm in sandals. You're the culprit, here. 
Me @ 1:20: You owe me some socks. Plain and simple. 


No response?!?


Did u enjoy this blahg post? Then do me a favor n slap ur mouth. Really hard. Bcuz laughter = satan. But if u'd like 2 pass it along 2 some friends, maybe via Facebook & Twitter, so that ur friends can get a good dose of satan, by all means pass it along!