Txts to an Asshole 1

For some reason I get a lot of random txt messages from numbers I don't recognize. Rather than ignore these txts, I see them as an opportunity to hopefully derive some giggles from the stranger. And to be an asshole. 

I plan on making this a reoccurring post, so stay tuned for more installments of "Txts to an Asshole." And btw, this blahg post was inspired by this hilarious blog: E-mails from an Asshole.

So here it is, a txt conversation from last night with a random: 

Them @ 7:14: Hey
Me @ 7:50: Hey

Them @ 7:54: What’s up

Me @ 7:56: Not much, just thinking

Them @ 7:57: Thinking about what

Me @ 8:00: About what kind of sandwich I want to eat after I get done letting your mom touch me, you know, down there

Me @ 8:02: Mostly about the bread

Me @ 8:03: B/c a sandwich is only as good as the bread it’s on

                    Do I go rye, sourdough, wheat, white

                    I just don’t know, what do you think?

Them @ 8:05: Idk either lol

Me @ 8:06: Come on, you need to help me out with this, it’s really importunt (sic)

Them @ 8:12: It depends on what you like lol

Me @ 8:21: Well I like blowjobs, but she’s too feisty for that. Makes her gums hurt, she says

Them @ 8:22: I’m lost wtf lol

Me @ 8:29: Wait, now I’m lost. What the fuck is wtf?

Them @ 8:31: wtf is what the fuck haha

Me @ 8:32: Hahahhandnmdlewxnnmxz!!!!!!bn

Them @ 8:34: Oh