Them on 2/29/2012 @ 10:49pm: Hey
Me on 3/1/2012 @ 7:42am: What up?
Them @ 1:39pm: Nm u
Me @ 5:46: Sorry
Was in the middle of push up contest
Them @ 5:47: That's right lol jk
Me: You think that's funny?
Them: Wtf lol
Me: I'll have you know I train super hard for this shit
Its my life
Them @ 5:48: No random lol
Ok lol
Me @ 5:50: Alright, how about we do this, we hold our own contest
We'll start doing push ups and the winner gets the other person's soul
Them @ 5:51: Alright
Me: GO!
One week passes during which I have done a total of .5 pushups.
Me on 3/8/2012 @ 2:02pm: Alright, where ya at?
Them @ 2:05: My dick is about to go 12 inches deep in your ass hole
WOAH! I was not expecting that one. I had to wait on that one for a bit. Plus, I was a bit busy checking the depth of my ass.
Me on 3/9/2012 @ 9:02am: There is no way you could get something that large in my asshole. I tried a piece of celery last week and that didn't even go.
AND it broke off, which was less than cool. So yeah, your exaggerated dick isn't
gonna work for me.
Them @ 11:25: Okay ill be right there
Me: I don't think you will be. I think you're gonna stand me up like every other guy who has promised to shove his dick in my ass hole.
Why can't I just meet a nice guy who won't stand me up for once?
Them @ 12:53: Oh I stand you up and you will feel a poke from behind
Me @ 1:19: "Oh I stand you up"? Do you mean you "will" stand me up? Grammar please!
You sound like a cave man when you txt like that.
Them @ 1:20: Ill stand you up
Me @ 1:24: It's just so hard to find a well-educated guy who has the decency to actually show up when he says he's going to put his pogo in my pooper
Them @ 1:26: Haha that really made me laugh lol
Me @ 1:37: Well, I'm glad my continual rejection, my psychological pain from lack of anal pain is humorous to you.
Jerk.
Them @ 1:40: Lol what ever
One is all you need.
# 2 (a word from our sponsor)
Them on 4/16/2012 @ 10:19am: You have just won a free $1000 Walmart Gift Card, enter "CARD" at http://promodaygiveaway.com/
Me @ 10:22: Two words: fuck, yes.
Question though, do I have to wear pants when I decide to spend it? I mean, I feel as though, as a winner, I'm entitled to shop how I wanna shop: Pantsless.
I mean seriously, now I'm big shit. I just won $1K to Walmart. Do you know how many ottomans that'll buy me? I'll never have to walk on the floor of my house
again. And -AND! I'll feel really tall. Which is important to me, being fairly short most of my life.
So yeah, can I let my goods breathe that stale air in? I'm pretty pale, which may brighten the store up a bit. It's always so damn dark in those places.
I guess that's fitting for a place that exploits 3rd-world and 1st-world workers. But what about 2nd-world countries? It's like, "Walmart. Why ya gotta hate?"
You think 2nd-worlders don't like to be exploited?" Well, you're right. They don't like it. BUT! Walmart could be the store that changes that.
Butt, I digress. Me, naked from the waist down, perusing the "fine" jewelry or conservative-themed book section, think about it. Hard. Think average long and hard about it.
I mean seriously, now I'm big shit. I just won $1K to Walmart. Do you know how many ottomans that'll buy me? I'll never have to walk on the floor of my house
again. And -AND! I'll feel really tall. Which is important to me, being fairly short most of my life.
So yeah, can I let my goods breathe that stale air in? I'm pretty pale, which may brighten the store up a bit. It's always so damn dark in those places.
I guess that's fitting for a place that exploits 3rd-world and 1st-world workers. But what about 2nd-world countries? It's like, "Walmart. Why ya gotta hate?"
You think 2nd-worlders don't like to be exploited?" Well, you're right. They don't like it. BUT! Walmart could be the store that changes that.
Butt, I digress. Me, naked from the waist down, perusing the "fine" jewelry or conservative-themed book section, think about it. Hard. Think average long and hard about it.
Hey, your words are hurtful.
But can I come over when you get the ottomans set up?
# 3
Them on 3/17/2012 @ 8:52pm: Hey is this kaitlyn ******?
Are you fucking kidding me? Of course it is.
Me @ 8:53: Hey!
How are you?
Them @ 8:54: What's up hah ya roll through! :)
I'm good how're you lol are you coming over?
Me @ 8:58: Ye bua got deap che
Them @ 8:59: What?
Me @ 9:00: Lol! Haha I meant
Ye bua got deap che
Them @ 9:01: What haha are u comin down to my place?
Me @ 9:01: Yes
Them @ 9:02: Okay lol
Me @ 9:06: When?
Them @ 9:08: Now lol
Me @ 9:08: hahahahhaa I'll be there in like 5 mins
Them @ 9:09: Word haha
Make sure you have somethin to carry or hide it in lol
Me @ 9:09: My belly
Ill look prego n sneak it in
Them @ 9:11: There's a cop
Me @ 9:19: I'm sorry?
What?
Then we'll be at Applebees.
Them @ 9:23: Wheres that at lol
Me @ 9:25: So I got this txt earlier
It said 'send me a pic of ur nipples'
Fuk that
Them @ 9:55: Hey were going to my friends house that lives down here
Me @ 9:56: Imma crash @ Applebees
Them @ 9:57: Word ha
Me @ 9:57: Butt seriously, we should gett brekfast
Them @ 10:00: I'm good lol
Me @ 10:01: New it
Send me a pic of ur nipples
Brad, please.
(What popped up when I typed
"Ye bua got deap che" into Google Images)
dying at the last one. pure gold.
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